


bake'ry

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: me sobbing about critical role [56]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baking, F/M, Fake Accents, Fjorester Week 2019, Flour fights, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, fjord is an awkward dork, jester will fight fantasy racists, off screen breaking and entering, with her FISTS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 04:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18307796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: fjord + jester + bakeries





	bake'ry

**Author's Note:**

> it's fjorester week babeies! little late because i forgot to post it, but its not midnight so we're all good here!

It’s technically Fjord’s day off, but he and Jester don’t really hang out anywhere else, and besides, he likes the atmosphere of the Leaky Tap. He walks over to their table, where Jester is already doodling in her sketchbook. He takes a drink from his water bottle as he sits down, and nearly chokes when Jester speaks.

“Hey Fjord, why is your accent fake?”

He coughs up the water all over himself, making more of a scene than he would like, and Jester’s vocal amusement is not helpful.

“Wh- What? I’m afraid I don’t-,” he sputters, but deflates at the unconvinced look Jester is giving him.

“How- How did you find out?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Fjord, I have been in community theater with Molly since I was a little baby, of _course_ I can hear fake accents! Also yours was just really bad. Like, _really_ bad. You should take an acting class with me sometime! But seriously, why were you even faking an accent? Are you a _criminal_?” she asks, earrings bouncing as she leans forward, grinning widely.

Fjord can feel himself blushing, and he can see the grin on Jester’s face grow to face splitting size as he tells her the story. How, when Caduceus had interviewed him, he’d panicked, and how he hadn’t thought he was going to get the job anyway, and then it was way too late to back out once he was actually hired! And _how was he going to break the news anyway, Jester? You can’t exactly just bring that up in conversation!_

By the end, Jester was positively guffawing with laughter, tail swishing and wiping a tear from her eye.

“Oh my gods! Fjord, how- how even- you’re supposed to be suave!” she gets out between breaths, slapping a hand on the table to keep from falling out of her chair.

Fjord smiles, and uncrosses his arms before he starts to laugh too. It really is the most _ridiculous_ thing. They stay like that, laughing like morons and getting glared at by the other patrons for awhile.

* * *

 

“-Oh, and also, your bear claws are _stupid_ and _bland_ and don’t have any cinnamon _at all_ , so there!”

Fjord just catches the tail end of Jester’s shout, and he cautiously approaches. Despite not actually being taller than the man she’s yelling at, Jester is doing a fantastic job of looming over him.

“Uh, Jester? Darlin’? What’s up?” he asks, side eyeing the man, because he had to have done something to provoke Jester’s ire.

She whirls to face him, pointing an accusing finger at the human. “That asshole yelled at a kid! For knocking over a plate! _He made her cry!_ ”

Fjord looks over, and yeah, there’s a tiny elf child hiding behind the legs of Jester, eyes wide and looking rather shaky, and he can see tear tracks running down her cheeks. Fjord doesn’t see any parents around and he can feel himself slip into a rather cold smile as he realizes what Jester already has. _Racist asshole_.

Fjord taps Jester lightly on the hand to let her know he has a plan, and turns to the human- the owner of this bakery, presumably. He apologizes, rattles off some nonsense about over-emotional girlfriends ( _the asshole nods pompously at that, and his muttering about “controlling your woman” makes Fjord want to throw him across the room, but instead he keeps smiling, and frankly he isn’t sure how the man misses the barely restrained fury in Jester’s eyes_ ) He and Jester and the kid walk out of the bakery, the kid running off as soon as they’re a distance away, Jester turning to him seconds after.

“We’re totally fucking that guy’s shit up, right?” she says, arms crossed and determination in her eyes. Fjord nods.

“We might need Nott and Beau’s help, though. I’ve never actually broken into a building before.”

(Later, after they’ve broken into the bakery at an unholy hour of the morning, and Jester has wreaked sufficient havoc, and they’re walking home with pastries shoved into their pockets, Fjord will admire the way the moonlight reflects off of her sapphire blue eyes,

and Jester will tell him how nice his tusks look now that they’ve grown in,

and he’ll blush, because even though they’ve been together for ages, he’s still taken off guard when she compliments him, and there’s no better time for flirting than after you’ve taken revenge on a racist business owner.)

* * *

 

They’re in the kitchen together, trying to bake a cake for Beau’s birthday, when Jester “accidentally” knocks over some flour, and Fjord ends up coughing his lungs out and trying to wash the white powder from his hair before it becomes a permanent resident.

Jester laughs, says, “You look good for an old man,” and he scoops up a handful of flour and drops it onto her horns, because _he can’t just let that jab at his honor stand, Jester,_ and with a faux outraged shriek and a badly hidden smile she reaches for the flour and gets a handful of cinnamon instead, and by the end, they’re covered head to toe in what should’ve been a cake, and Fjord’s pretty sure there’s butter and half an egg in his hair now too. (He can’t bring himself to care, though, because-)

Jester leans up and licks the cinnamon off his nose, and he can’t help but shriek slightly in surprise, and then return the favor, and then the cake is put on hold until tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write that accent scene really, everything else is a happy accident


End file.
